suicide at 12

She instantly became a star when she decided to loop her neck a cord and died and she was only 12 years old.

She decided to take her own life because they were poor and her parents are always fighting . Before she died, she asked her mother let her work in the factory, the same place where her mom’s a worker. She was scolded so she went him –hurt, sad, and possibly confused.

When she died, they found her diary and inside it, they were able to read a part of her tormented soul. It’s been a month already since she last attended school, she wrote.  They don’t have enough money for food and transportation. She wrote she wanted to be a nurse. She wants to be the one to bring her family out of poverty.

Another entry was about her feelings towards her parents when they fight

How can one so young, feel so old?
Where can one so young get enough courage to take her own life?

I am a mother, and this type of news really makes me uncomfortable. When I saw it on tv, I immediately remembered my eldest daughter. Ever since her father and I called it quits, I’ve noticed a certain maturity in her. I would catch her looking at our wedding pictures and she would look so sad. She’s still the vibrant little girl she was but she’s started to have outbursts, she’s more stubborn, and there are moments where she is just quiet. I’ve always brushed this aside, hoping that one day, I could explain to her why. She is just a kid. I missed her suddenly.

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Being able to understand and acting out of understanding are two different things…

Just because you understand, doesn’t necessarily mean that one is rational in answering such understanding. A kid may understand, but they may not know how to deal with it. In the sad case of this twelve year old girl, she answered it by taking her own life because she understood how hard their life is, how poor they are, how mean circumstances are…that and more.She knew…but that alone didn’t drive her to suicide.  Not knowing how to deal with all of it, is the real culprit.

So many things have shown her that life is hard, unfair, and cruel…but nobody was there to convince her that life can also be beautiful and that it should be cherished.

She didn’t knew the value of living, no one taught her.
And as a parent, no matter how busy we are, no matter how depressed we are, that is one lesson we should try to teach, no matter what.

A hug.
A simple pat.
A conversation.
A simple praise.
Having a composed demeanor.
Being calm.

We mold them not only with what we say to them but with the type of life we live. And thus, to effectively teach them how good life can be is to show them how to be grateful and happy with little things.

But how can we make them face life and at the same time retain their innocence? I am also looking for answers.  I am struggling myself.  It’s a double edge sword…and I might die bleeding.

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