To sleep in my own bed.
To yawn so early and hear familiar voices.
To listen to silly stories that I will forget
but will always remember how hard my laughter was when I heard it.
To sing vernacular songs.
To hum private fantasies and get lost in dreams
without thoughts of anything.
To not rush.
To read until i fall asleep.
To wake up to the smell of breakfast.
To be with old friends.
To visit places I’ve forged kinship with over the years.
I could smell the scents of memories as it wafts at me in my every visit
as I try to imagine the city embracing me as I slowly caress it again with my eyes, with my hands, even with my laughter.
It makes me smile to know I’m safe even if it is not completely true. For nobody is safe in this world but it is of comfort to feel it anyway.
No i’m not talking about sex. But when you are not in the mood sexually, I’d recommend for you to feign sleep or better, pop a sleeping pill. That way it becomes non-negotiable. Both get what they want. you get your peace and your partner can party all by himself and you won’t hear or feel a thing. But that is gross, so dump him after.
Women may not talk about it but a lacking sexual desire is common amongst us. This lack of libido is called Hypo-sexual Desire or HSD. This is actually a common case amongst clinicians– about 1/3 of all sexually adult women suffer from this due to reasons like stress, relationship problems, illnesses, and pregnancies.But there are three stages in a woman’s sexual phase, it’s desire, climax, and orgasm —if you are desirable and your partner still doesn’t want you, it can be the case above. But if you have doubts in your desirability, you may want to hit the gym class— but I would suggest you join the Toastmaster’s club…why? because women are auditory, moron. Our desires are heightened by what we hear you say not how you look.
But for all my non-sexual “Not-in-the-mood” moments, its hard to drop dead in the mall—- so I do these 5 five things. Read the rest of this post »
Wear the darkest clothing available. To accompany your dark thoughts and to burn a theme when you stick to the shadows of the cold night when you do an escape. Shadows become your bestfriend…the cold wind warming an even colder heart.
long strides to accompany deep thoughts, you sprint a long circle that sometimes lead you back to your own solace. They won’t find you there.
But a dose of more than enough can sometimes satiate a hungry soul. You have come to do what you have wanted and find it to your liking…but not enough to make you want it.
You look at it and find that it is still what it is…but the craving waned.
The curve of hunger is not as as it once was.
You’ve come to realize that it was what you just needed but you need it no more.
And you open your hands to let it go. And you smile to yourself knowing it was one of the things you will always remember.
And you see it slowly wave and turn as it finally jumps out of your reach.
You have no sense of loss…it wasn’t yours to begin with.
You have no feeling of regret, it has served it’s purpose.
You don’t run after it, it’s meant to be free.
You walk away and it doesn’t pain you to look back. It did not change to hurt you…but there is change within.
You will always laugh when you remember how it tickled your sense of longing…because the longing is no more there.
It waves and you wave back.
It will call you and you have no problem answering it.
It will still stir your interest but you’ve ceased to become its mistress. You were never sure if you were anyway… and you will giggle at the irony of it all.
And as you taste the adventures in your tongue and smell the sweetness of having it with you for a while, you sigh…knowing it was just what you had wanted and needed. It was exactly what you had wished for… and you do not care if the dream had ended…All that’s important is that it happened.